i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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