Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
