Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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