forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
