I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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