it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
