dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
