I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
