Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She's the barista slut.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
