i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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