So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
