At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
