Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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