Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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