sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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