Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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