yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize