He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize