I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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