i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
