ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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