Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
