You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
