Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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(785): View more from Kansas

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."

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(+61): View more from Australia

I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!

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(585): View more from New York

Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.

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(631): View more from New York

A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.

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