I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
