My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
