we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
