make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
