to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
