Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
