I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
