I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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