sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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