I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
