My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize