i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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