it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
