So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
