I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
