It's Friday. Sex?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize