I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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