Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
