is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
