If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
