atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
