There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
