Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
