You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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