At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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