I just threw up on my dentist
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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