I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
