hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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