You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
