if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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