i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
