DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
