and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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