The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
