i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
