3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
