Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
