i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
